Monthly Archives: September 2008

Word of the Day: Tube Sock

The proposed  $700 billion bailout of America’s financial institutions will probably  cost much more, because after all, that is just an estimate and, if you’ve ever remodeled your kitchen, you know how accurate estimates are.

So, to keep the country from going down the tubes the Treasury Secretary will be given absolute power to do whatever it takes to shore up the banks, the investment firms and the Treasury Department. Where will this money come from? Us. That’s right the taxpayers. But I think that Henry Paulson should look beyond the taxpayers and look to the kids of taxpayers – because that’s where all the money is – at least in my house.

My youngest son, Lewis is flush with cash. No kidding. Even in these times of economic crisis, his financial security seems…well, secure. He has a tube sock in his underwear drawer that’s stuffed with bills. It’s cash from the Tooth Fairy, birthday money from his aunt and uncle and change from the times that I’ve given him five dollars to pay for a three dollar hot lunch.

Now, I’m not suggesting that the Feds ask kids to donate the proceeds from their summer lemonade stands to bail out Wall Street. But I am thinking that maybe my meager savings- which is being battered by the stock market and is at risk from the savings and loan crisis, might be better off in a tube sock in my underwear drawer.

 

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A Household Tip: Fakin’ it

“Honey, what did you do today?”

“I made a pie!”

Nothing says “Boy have I been slaving over a hot stove (okay, a hot oven)” like a homemade pie. But actually making a pie is time-consuming, messy and totally unnecessary. Instead, head to the Bakery Department of your local supermarket.

Step 1: Purchase pie of choice. This one is blueberry.  I will tell my family that I grew the berries in the backyard – a place that no one but the dog ever goes.

Step 2: Remove pie from box and place on rack in prominent kitchen location.                  Destroy box.

Step 3: Add realism with a dusting of flour and an artfully placed rolling pin. Now, tie on an apron, pop some cheap white bread in the toaster for that “somethin’ from the oven” aroma  and try to look exhausted.

 

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A Household Tip: Baked on Grease

Keeping your house spic and span is easy, once you know the secrets of savvy homemakers.

Go from this……

.

To this….in seconds!

How? It’s easy.   All you need is an empty oven and a tiny bit of spacial sense. Bathtubs, the minivan and the dryer also can be employed for emergency and long-term storage of dirty dishes, laundry and or leftovers.

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Word of the Day: Trig

I don’t usually get into politics. But John McCain’s choice of  Sarah Palin as running mate has piqued my interest.

FIVE kids? Three teenagers? A special needs newborn? A pregnant teenage daughter? With all of these raging hormones and school about to start, Sarah Palin is still able to pull together a campaign speech for the RNC, pack for a trip to St. Paul and find something to wear that fits her post-pregnancy body and doesn’t have little Trig’s* spit up on it.

Obviously, she is a better woman than me.

Even I wouldn't wear this to the grocery store.

Even I wouldn't wear this to the grocery store.

But Sarah Palin and I do have something in common besides being mothers and being hot (see previous comments). We were both PTO presidents. Talk about politics! Washington can’t compare to the no-good-deed-goes-unpunished politics that is an elementary school PTO. Unfortunately, a history as a PTO president is about all that she and I share. Still, I congratulate Mrs. Palin on the birth of little Trig and on her impending status as a grandparent. I’m sure that after being at home with three teens for the entire summer – it feels good to get away to St. Paul for a few days.

*Trig?

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