Monthly Archives: September 2009

Word of the Day: Girls’ Weekend

I am going away for a long weekend with girlfriends. Hurray! I really need to drink get away.

My husband says, ” You need a vacation…from what?”

And I am reminded of that old joke.

You know, the one about the guy who comes home from work and finds his house in shambles, his kids playing naked  in the yard and his wife in bed reading People Magazine. “What happened here today!?” he asks.

And the wife replies. “You always ask me what I do all day. Well, today I didn’t do it.”

1950-housewife

Before I leave, I have to make a list of the things that are in my brain – things like how to pill the cat and when Lewis needs to be at soccer on Saturday and leave them for my husband.

Here’s my list:

  • Make sure Lewis wakes up on Saturday by 9am!!!!
  • Don’t believe that he is up until you see him eating breakfast (Honey- Nut Cheerios in pantry).
  • Lewis has soccer game on Saturday – 10am – cleats on front porch, shin pads in tv room, socks in laundry. Needs to be at High School at 9:30am. Needs to pay for coach gift. $20.
  • Pack snack (look in pantry for granola bars), water bottle (check dishwasher – I think it’s there) and $ in soccer bag (saw it  under the kitchen table).
  • Lewis has a haircut at Anthony’s at 2pm. He’ll need $15 plus tip.
  • Roofer coming to give estimate at 11am. Ladder in patio.
  • Birthday party 6pm – Lew needs $ for paintball, gift ($20 is the standard gift – he’ll wrap it in duct tape). Can you drive other boys? Call Jacob’s mom to work out logistics. 781-332-8845.
  • Dog gets 1/2 can of food and 1/2 cup dry food plus 1 capsule  of glucousamine sprinkled on top. Rinse and recycle cans.
  • Leash hanging by front door with poop bags. Be sure to walk him as far as  Mimi’s  house. He likes to do his “business” there.” Don’t forget the bags.
  • Fish- sprinkle food twice a day. Make sure filter is working
  • Cat gets small white pill in am, large blue pill in pm. Coat pills in butter, squeeze her cheeks and poke pill into her throat. Feed her 1 cup of dry cat food in am. Make sure that dog doesn’t eat it.
  • Gecko –  Mealworms are in fridge. Feed five  each day. Turn light on in cage on in morning, off in evening. Make sure the water bowl is full.
  • Water window boxes and pots on porch everyday.
  • Lewis will feed animals and water plants for $$$.
  • Have fun!

Love,

Carol

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Word of the Day: Back to School

I love summer – it’s school vacation that I can’t stand. I’ve given up trying to have a television-free summer and asking Lewis to play outside.  Right now, I am simply clinging to my sanity and counting the hours until school starts. Maybe you’re on the brink with me.  SCHOOL

The Top Ten Signs that You are Ready for School to Start

10. The lunch boxes are packed. Salmonella…bah!

9. You want your kids to have the H1N1 vaccine so they won’t ever be absent.

8. You’ve replaced reading aloud from Harry Potter with reading aloud from back-to-school flyers.

7. You don’t care if the school bus driver was on “America’s Most Wanted” as long as he’s on time.

6. You make your kids go to bed when it’s still light outside because “when school starts, you’ll have to get up early.”

5. You’ve gained five pounds since you stopped running after the school bus in June.

4. You’re hoarding shoe boxes for the third-grade diorama project.

3. You agree that ketchup is a vegetable.

2. You’re beginning to think that playground bullies might build character.

1. You have romantic dreams involving the principal.

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