Word of the Day: Enable

My name is Carol and I am an enabler. That’s right. I do things for my kids who are now old enough that they could easily do most everything themselves. I am not proud of my actions including:

  • Driving my son and his friends to the mall– even though there’s a bus that goes from the bottom of our street directly there.
  • Making snacks and delivering them to the television room so my sprog won’t have to interrupt his game of Halo 3.
  • Making paper bag book covers for school books because I can do it faster and better than the anyone else. Okay, I am showing off – but it’s my only skill.
  • Buying the crickets and feeding  the gecko – even though Lewis promised he would take care of it – because if I didn’t,  the gecko would be long dead.
  • Untieing massive knots in shoelaces because I “have fingernails.”
  • Making  special trips to the drug store to buy items that my daughter is too embarrassed to purchase herself (like Jolene cream bleach).
  • Spending precious minutes of my morning searching  for Lewis’s sneakers… until he remembers that he left them at a friend’s house.
  • Dropping off lunch money and homework at school when they’ve been forgotten in the morning fray.

But my worst offense was during my daughter’s first semester at college. She was having a rough transition – complete with the tearful phone calls in the middle of the night.  So when  she called and complained that she wanted to do her laundry, but had no quarters for washers in her dorm I didn’t hesitate. I sent – no, I overnighted – ten dollars worth of quarters to her. The postage was $17.95. There.

The first step to recovery is acknowledging that you need help.

I feel better now. Quarter



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2 responses to “Word of the Day: Enable

  1. Oh my. You do need to let go of some of your responsibilities as a Mom and let your kids work on their responsibilities. They’ll never learn if you keep on pampering them – they’ll just depend on you all the time because they know that you’ll cover up for them.

    Oblige them to be responsible, and let them know that Mom will not always be there to help them out. Make them do their chores on their own, and maybe suffer a little (e.g. let them feel broke for a while if they spent all their money). Help them become independent individuals.

  2. cband

    Yep. Sounds good.
    Until your daughter calls you in tears or until the gecko’s ribs start to show. Oldest child successfully launched. Hoping the others will also be able to recover from being my kid.

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